The Ten Ugliest Station Wagons Ever Made

There are lots of things you can say about the station wagon: roomy, reliable, dependable, useful … but notice that “attractive” wasn’t among the adjectives. Yes, the station wagon is many things, but eye-catching? Not one of them. Of course, some are worse than others, and here are the worst of all time.

Lotus

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Part of the problem is that station wagons were generally made by extending the cab of the vehicle back to create what amounts to a roofed over flatbed. For most American sedans, mostly this just means making the blandness longer. For cars with actual construction and style, like Lotus…well, the results speak for themselves.

Ferrari

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Yes, that is a station wagon built by luxury car manufacturer and usually respected carmaker Ferrari. No, we have no idea what the engineers were drinking, but we bet it was cheap, strong, and tasted absolutely horrible.

Aston Martin

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Dear Aston Martin: James Bond is very disappointed in you. And so are we. It’s fine until you get to the actual wagon part, and then it’s kind of like everything that was hideous about early ’90s car design dropped on this beast.

Pontiac

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You might notice this is similar to the Ferrari design up above, but instead of it being a Ferrari, it’s the Ferrari’s wannabe younger brother, the Pontiac Trans Am. Not that the Trans Am isn’t a gorgeous car, but it’s not a station wagon. Thankfully the execs at Pontiac started smoking tobacco again and took this prototype out of production.

Cadillac

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We will never, ever understand the tendency to paint Cadillac’s bottle green. This looks like a rolling Sprite can from the ’60s. Not that a better paint job would repair that hideous circus tent in the back, but it might help.

Mercury “Marauder”

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The only place this thing is going marauding to is the local drive-in, the supermarket, and the pharmacy. We also like how the wood details of your typical wagon are turned into semi-space age curves here. It’s like the designers charmingly thought two bad ideas would make a good one.

Plymouth Fury

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So named because the design imparts fury into anyone who looks at it. Wow, Plymouth really made a hideous beast with this one, didn’t they? You can practically see where they just tacked on some extra roof at the planning stages. But, hey, Plymouth had forty years after this ugliness before they were shut down, so they had to pick up some cues in the meantime to make some better cars.

PT Cruiser

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Ah. Sooooo….not so much, then.

Ford Falcon

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We’ll give the designers credit: it looks like this car is leaning forward, giving it the impression of speed. Now if the back end didn’t look like something that 1950’s housewife used to scrub the washing…

The Ford Country Sedan

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Then again, considering Ford inflicted this dumpy little bug-eyed creature on America for twenty years, maybe we should be grateful any design went into the Falcon at all. Come back, Falcon! All is forgiven!

Image Credits:

http://www.lotustalk.com/forums/f152/ugly-beautiful-28024/index16.html

http://www.alfabb.com/bb/forums/attachments/other-italian-cars/80169d1191612203-ferrari-station-wagon-blk-vette-2.jpg

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=371881 (I got several from this)

http://www.stationwagonforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6108

http://www.stationwagonforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13266

http://www.lovefords.org/65ford/falcon/1965_ford_falcon_2wag_001.jpg

http://artscars.tripod.com/pt2.jpg

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