We’ve all done it: speeding. But not all of us get caught. Those of us that do, though, generally have a choice between getting a ticket on their record (and the ensuing auto insurance cost increase), and going to that most dreaded of requirements: traffic school.
But traffic school doesn’t have to be a total hassle. Here are 10 tips for surviving it…and maybe avoiding it in the future. Or at least making it entertaining.
#1) The Internet is not going to be very sympathetic to your complaints, so you might as well limit your complaining to family and friends, rather than trying to bring it to Facebook. Of course, they’ll probably razz you too, but at least they’ll do it lovingly. The Internet can be mean.
#2) Every time you want to argue with the instructor, it’s worth asking yourself who’s getting paid to be in the room. It’s also worth asking whether or not you want to have the ticket on your record. If the answer is “him” and “no,” then you should probably just agree with him.
#3) That said, keeping a copy of the traffic laws handy can be fun, especially if your instructor gets some minor point wrong. The proper etiquette for pointing this out is to slam your hand on the desk and yell “Objection!” You could also take notes and bring him a detailed summary of what he got wrong: we’re sure he’ll enjoy it.
#4) Traffic school is a bit like high school: nobody wants to be there and everybody thinks they know the material already, even if they don’t. Consider livening up the proceedings by dressing accordingly. Wear your old clothes from high school on the first day, and encourage your classmates to do the same. Bonus points if the instructor joins in.
#5) People with kids know about the long suffering Mrs. Puff from “Spongebob Squarepants.” Calling your instructor “Puff” will offer common ground to laugh about, as well as an adorable unthreatening nickname. Also try bringing a stuffed animal of said pufferfish to every class.
#6) Falling asleep in class is incredibly rude. Instead, consider taking up quiet meditation. Since it involves staring emptily into space, you’ll likely blend in with the rest of the class.
#7) Browsing Facebook during class is incredibly impolite, especially if you’re sitting in the front row. So get there early, to avoid being stuck in the front row.
#8) Hiding comic books and magazines in reading material remains a time-honored and acceptable practice.
#9) Have a few cups of coffee before class, and make a game out of how long you can hold it.
#10) Find the old instructional films that were banned for being too gory on the Internet and burn them to DVD. Your teacher will surely find them a thoughtful gift.
Obviously, we’re being a bit tongue-in-cheek, here. But the truth is, as aggravating a chore as traffic school can be, look at it this way: it’s better than having that ticket on your record, or if it is going on your record, it sure beats having community service on top of that.
If you got the ticket on your record, had to go to traffic school, and had community service on top of that…have you considered taking up the bicycle?