Remember when you were in elementary school? You struggled over math homework, loved finger painting, and regularly stole your dad’s car. Wait, that last one didn’t apply to you? Kids have gotten a little more precocious these days — especially first and second graders — at carjacking, for some reason. And we wonder why our auto insurance rates are so high.
#9) Utah Boy, 7, Blows Off Church
This boy had a very simple reason for “borrowing” his dad’s car out of a parking lot: he didn’t feel like going to church that day. So he just went home. Much to the chagrin of the Utah State Police, who managed to pull him over.
#8) Well, At Least This Six-Year-Old Likes School
A boy in Northern Virginia did what every kid absolutely dreads: telling his parents that he missed the school bus. His dad was at work, and his mom was still asleep, so this little boy, being a problem-solver, decided to just take his Mom’s Taurus to school. He managed to wrap it around a utility pole, but he wasn’t hurt. His parents, on the other hand, got arrested.
#7) He Just Wanted To Go To The Mall
A boy in Muncie, IN, really wanted to visit the toy store. But his grandmother was tired…so he borrowed her Geo Tracker and went ahead. He was so tiny that some drivers who saw him thought there was nobody behind the wheel. Somebody had to block him in and take the keys away before he stopped. But hey, he got to the mall.
#6) Boy Saves Passed Out Mother
There’s nothing quite so terrifying for passengers as a driver who faints at the wheel. Fortunately for this Texas mother, she raised one level-headed nine-year-old: he got behind the wheel, pulled the car to the side of the road, shut off the engine and got help. That kid deserves a much larger allowance.
#5) Rally Driving Is in the Blood
Kalle Rovenpera’s father is a rally car driver from Finland. Apparently, it’s genetic; either that, or his father is one incredibly patient teacher. This kid can drive better than most adults we know, although we bet he gets funny looks on the road.
#4) He Was Just Doing Him a Favor
We will at least give the man who asked his girlfriend’s eleven-year-old to drive him home because he was drunk this much: at least he didn’t get behind the wheel himself. Then again, most people call a cab.
#3) Well, If You’re Going to Run Away…
This is almost cute: a 12-year-old boy in Napierville, a suburb of Chicago, decided he was going to run away, so he stole the family car and drove it to the airport. We’re not really sure what his plan was once he got there, but we’ll at least give him credit for dedication.
#2) Sadly, He Was Not Driving a Bulldozer
We only use this image because it was the first one to come up on Google when we searched for “4 year old drives.” We’re assuming that some countries have extremely lax labor laws when it comes to heavy construction. Either that, or it was the best birthday party ever.
Anyway, the 4-year-old we were thinking of actually just drove to the video store…and back. He couldn’t reach the accelerator, but the idling car gave him enough power when he put it in gear to drive it a quarter-mile to the store. He probably got grounded but we’ve got to admit…that’s one smart toddler.
#1) Maybe Lose Some Weight?
Finally, here’s a question. If you
return to your car in a parking lot, only to find that the car parked next to you is so close that you can’t fit in the door, do you:
A) Open the windows, put the car into gear through them and slowly push it out?
B) Find whoever’s car it is and make them actually give you some room?
Or C) Make a six-year-old back out for you?
Apparently, C is an acceptable answer in Pennsylvania. There is some justice in this story, though: the guy who parked way too close got his car destroyed by the six-year-old in question.