Car theft is widely seen as a crime perpetrated by careful thieves forming rings that abduct your car in the dead of night before chopping it up for parts and leaving you with an auto insurance mess.
And they usually are. Except when they’re grade-schoolers.
#5) 13-Year-Olds “Borrow” BMW
Two boys decided to borrow their mother’s BMW without asking … which is already problematic since 13 is too young to have a driver’s license.
The other problem? They drove from Columbus, OH, to Kansas City, MO, a trip of approximately 700 miles. Police found them sleeping in the vehicle on their way to California. When informed of the incident, their mother was relieved but also raised an excellent question: How the heck did they travel 700 miles without anybody noticing?
#4) 11-Year-Old Takes the Bait Car
You expect teenagers to do stupid, possibly criminal things. But not middle schoolers. Nonetheless, that’s exactly what an 11-year-old boy did. In fact, he not only stole the bait car, he drove it around, giving his friends rides and generally showing off.
This despite the fact that he couldn’t see over the steering wheel. He and his 10-year-old friends were arrested and taken to juvenile court. Personally, we just want an explanation of how he learned to steal cars, and why an 11-year-old felt the need to drive.
#3) Swedish Boy Steals Car at Toy Gunpoint
Generally, stealing cars at gunpoint is the domain of dangerous gangsters and drug addicts. Also, apparently, it’s the domain of Swedish 9-year-olds.
The boy used an airsoft gun to steal a car, screaming that it was loaded — which it probably was, but it wasn’t terribly dangerous. Unfortunately, being nine, he didn’t have the best grasp of vehicles: the car he stole was an electric vehicle designed for city use that topped out at 18 miles an hour. He was “captured” by a bystander who literally simply picked him up and held him until police arrived. Fortunately, he won’t be facing any charges: he’s too young. We might recommend taking his toy guns away, though.
#2) Latarian Milton Swipes Keys, Becomes a Meme
Meet Latarian. He decided to “borrow” his grandmother’s car by grabbing the keys and trying to drive off. Unfortunately, there was one serious problem in this plan: He couldn’t drive. He wound up wrecking the vehicle and getting a spanking for his troubles. Apparently, though, he feels no regret for what he did. Maybe he needs a Scared Straight program.
#1) 7-Year-Old in Pajamas Just Wants to See His Dad
Finally, there’s this seven-year-old, who gets the #1 slot because he actually could drive. Slightly.
This boy, who lives 100 miles north of Detroit, just wanted to see his father. Since it was the middle of the night and he lived with his mother, he took his fate into his own hands, and drove off, barefoot, in his pajamas.
Needless to say, police were somewhat surprised to see a seven-year-old driving a Pontiac Sunfire down a highway at 70 mph. Fortunately, they were able to stop him and make sure he went home.
No, they drove him.