If NBA Players Were Cars…

After lasts nights “debacle” “decision” basketball has been running through my mind all day, even more so because I am a diehard Cavs fan.  To help ease my pain and suffering I have comprised a list of NBA players and their car comparisons:

1. Derrick Rose:  Rose is quite frankly (excuse the Steven A. Smith pun) the fastest guy in the league.  No one goes from 0-60 quite like him which is why Derrick Rose is a Bugatti Veyron.  The Bugatti Veyron tops out at about 268 mph and Rose sprints end line to end line just as fast.

2. Grant Hill: Lexus LS600.  Much like Hill the LS600 came out with high expectations and lived up to the hype.  Over time however, Hill has broken down and in a similar fashion the Lexus has been recalled.  But, to Hill’s credit, he is a three-time Sportsmanship Award winner.

3. Shaquille O’Neal:  When Shaq is on the train tracks, it is in the defenders best interest to let him “steamroll” through.  That’s why O’Neal is an H3 (filled with Diesel fuel of course) because Shaq overpowers his defenders with brute strength and force.

4. Dwight Howard: Da-wight (as pronounced by Charles Barkley) is just as powerful as a Hummer but he is so athletically gifted that Superman compares to a Cadillac Escalade Hybrid.  He has the athleticism of a guard, with the size of a center (hence hybrid).

5. Nate Robinson: Smart Car.  He’s really small and can dunk.  Smart Cars are really small and can be dunked.

6. Andrea Bargnani: Nothing says European like a man-purse.  Nothing says “Italian transportation” like the Vespa.  I can just imagine the 7-foot Italian cruising around Toronto in his Vespa with 9-inch spinner rims…and a man-purse.

7. Dirk Nowitzki:  To be 7-feet tall, German, have the ability to shoot from anywhere on the court, run the floor and defend is quite the luxury to have if you are the Dallas Mavericks.  The Mercedes Maybach is quite the German luxury as well.  Just seems to fit together, wunderbar!

8. LeBron James: For LeBenedict, let’s go with a Lamborghini Murcielago:  It’s powerful, fast, well put together and ultimately, it’s more fun to drive in South Beach than Cleveland. 🙁 🙁 🙁


Which car comparison is your favorite?  Let me know with your comments below!

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