Oops! The 5 Stupidest Car Criminals

As a rule, people don’t go into crime because they’re all that bright, as any police officer can tell you. But these five car thieves really take the cake. Whether it’s butt-dialing, a lack of “situational awareness,” or just a basic inability to figure out obvious things about a car, here are the five stupidest car thieves we’ve come across. Car insurance companies rejoice!

#5) Before Stealing A Car, Make Sure You Know What Fuel It Takes

A couple of car thieves picked up a fancy new Audi A4 in Ramsgate, a town over in jolly old England. So they thought they’d show it off by whipping through the gas station and filling their car with gasoline. Slight problem: the Audi A4 takes diesel, something it informs you of with a gigantic D on the gas cap. The two were caught when they tried to sell the car for around $200 to a man who’d stopped to help them. You know … trying to sell your stalled car for a fraction of its value is not remotely suspicious!

#4) Butt-Dialing Catches Thieves

You should never keep your cell phone in your back pocket. It’s uncomfortable and it creates the unfortunate problem of “butt-dialing,” wherein you accidentally dial a number. This is especially problematic if you’re dialing 911 over and over again. It’s even more problematic when you’re a car thief that accidentally does it while talking to your fellow criminals about what cars you’re going to steal. While the police weren’t able to track the call, once a car theft was reported, the dominoes fell into place and they tracked down Wesley Strom. By the way, Strom was fully aware of the fact that his phone was dialing 911, which becomes especially confusing because he had an outstanding warrant before his phone misadventures.

#3) Thieves Try to Steal Car… Can’t Even Drive It

Two teens had a foolproof plan: Attack the poor pizza guy as he was leaving work and steal his car. The first part went off all right, although not for the pizza guy. The second part didn’t come together quite so well, because neither thief drove stick. That didn’t stop them from trying, though, as they spent several minutes experimenting, while police arrived to take them into custody.

#2) I See You…
This is a video of a man stealing what appears to be a non-descript van. It seems like a fairly standard crime, and it is, but there is one small detail that’s important here.

The van he’s stealing belongs to a security camera company. He is, in fact, stealing this van, from the parking lot of the company, right in front of their company showroom. We should note here that if it weren’t completely obvious that the parking lot of a security camera company would have security cameras in it, the lot was posted with several signs making it clear that the cameras were operational and that anybody using the lot would be observed. Within seconds, the police had been alerted, his license plate captured, and everything he’d done was caught on tape.

Maybe he thought nobody would be looking at the van in the first place?

#1) Posted Without Comment


This is Ronnie Wynn, who calls himself Ron Gotti. He’s a resident of Vancouver, and he filmed himself doing this. The car he’s driving is freshly stolen. Needless to say, the police were very interested in this video, which Wynn was nice enough to let his friends know was available for viewing via Facebook. Really, do we need to say anything more?

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